Keeping the Flame Alive

How do you keep the love going in tough times? I've been happily married for several years and it is wonderful. Here are some things that I've noticed that has helped along the way.

• Remember your commitment to each other. In the days where the divorce rate is greater than 50%, people are not taking this commitment as seriously as they should. Marriage is a serious commitment that requires you to continually think about yourself and your relationship with another person. Not doing either will result in failure.


• Your way isn't the only way. Compromise is key. I am very much an A type personality-which equates to sometimes stubborn, to my husband, and confident, to me. He is very much a B type personality which equates to sometimes a push over, to me, and laid back, to him. Every situation is different and requires a different approach. Both have different styles and both have their importance.


• Figure out what you appreciate in each other. At times, in our approach to situations, my husband and I are polar opposites. What I've learned is that he is good at smoothing people over and I'm good at getting things done. I could do better at the people side. He could do better at the task side. We balance each others' weaknesses. I watch and learn from him. He does the same.


• Find out what you can do to advance the relationship. As people grow and mature, so do their relationships. The key is growing together. My husband and I have our own different hobbies, but we give each other room to grow as individuals and then connect back together. You have to be able to do both.


• You're not always going to agree and that's okay. What really matters is the core beliefs that you both share together. My husband and I have discussed different issues and debated them at length. In the end, we still have our differing viewpoints. That is absolutely okay. Respect the fact that you love someone who may not see things the same way you do.

Have fun with each other. Don't always be so serious. Life is demanding. Time at home should be a SHORT period of venting at the end of the day and the rest spending time appreciating each other. After all that's really what it's all about anyway.